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gwenmaul

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I put a spell on you…or did I?

Have you heard the newest version by Alice Smith? I’ve been impressed by Alice for awhile now.. at least 6-7 years..been there since the beginning, love her style/voice/ YouTube her, if you’re not familiar… no disappointments. shes RAW… but mannnnnn… check THIS  out.. with headphones or an amazing sound system… just lisssssssssen to it.. ASAP. Here’s what I know.. Nina Simone was/is an amazing artist and conveyed the hurt of so many things in such a way that only she could. I love that and I hope to be able to always allow that vulnerability in my contributions. Now as you listen to Alice’s version, you will hear incredible desperation that is only felt in the middle & ending of an intense love affair that has turned seemingly one sided.. the agony of desperation, the tragedy of desperation, she transmits beautifully. She stays inside the music allowing her voice and that pain to be instruments, one phrase specifically… ‘gon make you mine.. gone MAKE you mine’. Tells me that shes living specifically to make him hers… the fact that she doesn’t care if he wants her even…and that he’s hers RIGHT NOW is just. the. most. heart. breaking. feeling. EVER.

Kudos to Ms. Smith whom has been able to convey this beautiful tragedy with such intensity that is so different from the original, so respectful of the original, yet so poignant now, in this ‘new-not so new age’ of side chick life and the desperation that they possibly feel.

I was also able to learn that HE seemingly put the spell on her.. would you agree?

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but if not u R the prototype…

About 2 years or more ago I decided to record a collection of songs that resonated with me. They were a short 7 (meaning complete).. that encompassed a lot of what I wanted to say, but was unable to.. you know.. the song that speaks directly to you like..damn its killing me softly..riggggght.. well.. this collection of songs lacked a theme..none of the songs have the same feel.. some dark, some supportive, some about love, some are about acceptance some are about loss… but they ALL spoke to me.

I didn’t realize HOW much of an impact they would truly  have and what it would become. You know its been said to be careful what you say…  & I agree but I’d add to also be careful of what you sing.. the law of attraction  responds to your feeling…and ohhhh boy did it ever…. humans have their responsibility in things as well, however we can call things into existence… so.. I sing these songs with a different intention/feeling; I’ve experienced EVERY single emotion connected to the writers as if I’d written them myself.. I appreciate them as friends you can vent to, I love them for helping me through one of the best and worst experiences ever… its time for new, and I intend on creating new…using my lyrics, my feelings, my heart… while that process unfolds… I revisit, I sit and we chat and listen for awhile.. and yesterday I did.. its complete.. 

and then there was SHE…

After work one day I was headed to finish the last Christmas Ale.. yummmmy if you are familiar at all with this Cleveland beer, then you know! Then all of a sudden on my walk to retrieve the icy cold goodness. I stopped in my tracks and heard VERY distinctly” take the pregnancy test!’ I obey the voice, because ummmm.. how often does THAT happen.. for me? NEVER..

I take the test and a few seconds into it I hear the beep that digitally displays ‘PREGNANT’ I didn’t burst into tears… like in the movies.. but I cracked up laughing… nervous laughter..probably, I was more tickled that I actually saw the word PREGNANT for the first time in my life. and I am 37.. oh boyyyyy here we go.. 🙂

I tell her Dad and he smiles and hugs me and says Wow.. we both said Wow a lot for the first hour and then suddenly I felt as if an alien took over my life… albeit a beautiful alien… lol… My thoughts were not my own and nothing else seemed to matter as soon as it tested positive, only and solely about her..

Fast forward a little bit- thankfully I did not have morning sickness at all just nausea here and there.. my stomach felt like a bottomless pit and I slept like a newborn, every chance I could get..I was sleep! As soon as I would think I felt something.. I was reminded by weekly emails that she was in fact undetectable yet. Somehow they were wrong I could realllly feeeeel her. She was causing all sorts of things in my body/mind and soul to shift  The hardest thing was not being able to share with anyone except close family of our news. We only really waited a week..sorta couldn’t help it…

 The moodiest moody blues..ohhh my!!! I was NOT ready ‘pineapples’ everything went from 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds and yet the heartburn,insomnia, and emotional roller-coaster   was all worth it!! In less than a month my love will be 1 years old and this has been the best year of my life..had some pretty low lows this year. NOTHING COMPARES She lives up to her name which profoundly means ‘The Healer’

JAISEN!

 

ChhhhhhhhhaaaachaaaCHIA….Remember that commercial? Wellll.. Im in love wit da CHIA

Every night for the last 2 weeks I have prepare my Chia pudding- Almond milk/cinnamon/ vanilla. shake it up and put tin the fridge before I go to bed I shake it again add a little more milk if needed.

In the morning I add bananas and strawberries sometime blueberries and  a drizzle of honey. I LOVE it and I’m sort of addicted to it! Im enjoying this texture this lightness, this satisfying experience, the Chia keeps callinnnngggg me…mannnnn..

HAHAHA

In my effort to lose the remaing 50 pounds of the 85 I gained having my awesome daughter, I have decided to eat CLEAN…er.

Sometimes you just feel like pasta…so I have pasta. I’ll refuse to boil the whole box…because then the temptation is cooked and ready to be devoured. So I prepare as much as I need enjoy it and move along.

I’ve fallen in love with Kale too..Baby Kale especially.  Our love affair began when I went to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my Moms B DAY with the family. Now if you’ve been you know the menu is a manuscript full of deliciousness and if you enjoy food the way I ENJOY some food..then baby you know….

However I decided.. to try the Kale and Quinoa salad.

Yes…yes..YESSSSS.

I was soooo happy about it! Thoroughly enjoyed it.. Baby Kale/Quinoa/grapes/pickled ginger/sunflower seeds and Parmesan cheese.. there was a light lemony dressing that I only used a bit of. The vinegar of the pickled ginger mixed with sweet from the grapes and the salty from the cheese created its own goodness for me… and I Lovvvve dressings and sauces and things to dip into…

Lets just say I recreated this salad every day for two weeks as well….I feel AMAZING!!chiankale

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